But God. I have been stuck with these two words in my head for the last week. In this season of life they seem to be the hope that we live by, the assurance that we trust in and the fountain that we drink from. I'm so thankful that no matter what situation or season I find myself in these words not only create comfort but cause me to delve deeper into the awareness that He is in control, and therefore I am not.
One of my greatest strengths, which in turn overemphasized becomes my greatest weakness is my independence. Over the years I traveled the world, lived in 3 different countries, been successful at different job roles, and achieved most things I have put my mind to. My independence has served me well. Yet there have been areas of my life where it has not served me quite so well. I had to learn to co-labor with my husband, to partner with him and not run ahead and just get things done. I'm still learning how to do this better. And then the greatest area that my independence has become a hindrance is my relationship with God. Over the years I have learned the beautiful dance of depending on Him, and daily it is a joy and a challenge to walk it out.
This season that I find myself in is hard. Not for any other reason than for the first time I feel like I can't see around the bend. Ever been there? Everything is great, my health, my family, my relationship with God, yet I am constantly choosing to take the first step without seeing the staircase. And I have a feeling that's exactly where He wants me. I am being drawn into a deeper revelation of what it means to be dependent upon Him. When situations don't seem favorable... But God. When people seem to be impossible... But God. When futures are unsure... But God. When you are simply left standing asking how will this all work out... But God.
In what should be a season of anxious thoughts, uncertain outcomes, and no answers. I find that I am in fact not only at rest but marveling at the peace in which He creates within our lives if we will just give up the right to know whats next, sit back against Him and breath. Because in every circumstance, every situation He is still God, and He is really good at His job!
BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5